Coming up on the 6 year mark of having relocated south! (I guess technically north, but Florida doesn’t count) and while I think I’ve acclimated quite nicely there are some things I’m not sure I’ll ever really understand and/or will continue to get a bit of a chuckle out of. So I give you the following composed list:
(My fellow northern transplants, you’ll get me. My dear southern friends, I love ya!)
1. People don’t “push” buttons, they “mash” them.
2. It’s not totally weird for the person in the bathroom stall next to you to strike up a conversation (and not just about needing toilet paper)
3. A person wearing Uggs standing next to someone in flip flops is not an abnormal sight.
4. People enjoy a little tea with their cup of sugar.
5. My server still doesn’t understand what iced tea is/means.
6. My heart gets blessed on a consistent basis by people I don’t even know.
7. If it’s edible, it can be fried. And if it’s not edible, it probably still can be fried.
8. An illegal drivers license is easier to obtain than an actual one.
9. The drivers of the south crack and sometimes fully open their car windows when it rains. (Someone please explain this to me?!)
10. A chance of snow? Every school closed. All bread aisles empty. All milk gone.
11. And if it actually snows? Hope and pray you have enough to survive on for 2 weeks because literally everything shuts down. Everything.
12. See roadside stands for boiled peanuts? Let me help you, no and gross.
13. I asked what a “thee-ATE-er” was and got a look like I was from another planet.
14. Cowpens is a town. People live there.
15. While you may not be judged for the height of your hair, you will be judged for your college football team.
16. The more monogramming the better.
17. There’s a church on every corner and everybody goes to one.
18. Million dollar mansion next to a run down shack? Perfectly normal. (But why?)
19. Southern initiation tip: get a confederate flag. Bonus: fly it from the back of your truck.
20. You learn to not take offense when called a Yankee.
21. If someone doesn’t hold the door for you assume they’re not from around here.
22. The acceptable term to refer to multiple people is “y’all.” “You guys” will have to go back where you came from. : )